At The Beach House, on Sernabatim beach in southern Goa, India, nutritionist Francine holds up a plastic jug with hose attached as she explains the importance of colon cleansing. Looks of mild horror freeze on the faces of our group as we contemplate the task of twice daily self-administering enemas. We’ve all signed up to a Total Body Rebalancing Retreat at this new wellness centre, a kind of hybrid luxury spa and health clinic.
Set up by ex-pharmacist and businessman Ajit Patel, The Beach House was conceived as a place of healing — for both body and mind. On the staff there are doctors, a neurolinguistic programming therapist and hypnotherapist and a nutritionist, as well as your regular masseurs.
“We’re combining knowledge from the East and West,” says Patel, “and want to educate people on the connection between brain and body, so we look at balancing the whole being — physiological, physical and psychological.”
On our retreat we’ll be detoxing, giving our digestive systems a complete break. This means no solid food for five days — just vegetable and fruit juices, and clear broth once a day, topped up with 28 carefully-selected supplements to ensure we’re getting all the nutrients we need.
Before we begin we’re weighed and measured, our biological age calculated (based on visceral fat) and our pH levels tested. We give blood, urine and stool samples to check for a host of conditions, and have bone density screening too. Basically, it’s a total MOT for the body, and a bit of a bootcamp for the mind.
It’s all somewhat daunting — so it helps that the resort itself is so lovely. Set in pretty gardens, right on the beach, it feels like you’re staying at someone’s private home. The main house — the focus of communal life, where we eat (or slurp our juice) have talks, and come to relax — has a huge open-plan living/dining area with floor-to-ceiling glass doors, comfy sofas to curl up on and a horde of books on health and nutrition to flick through. The mosaic terrace outside is used for yoga and dining alfresco for those guests who aren’t food-free, and upstairs is the master suite — a vast room with amazing views over the ocean, and a never-ending bathroom.
A separate building houses the other suites, mostly duplexes, with sitting area, huge bedroom and two bathrooms — all decorated in dark woods and neutral colours, with possibly the comfiest beds I’ve tried. The mini-bars are filled solely with mineral water, the only shots you’ll get on this holiday being daily doses of liquid aloe vera.
Spa treatments take place in huts in the gardens — closed enough for privacy, but open enough for the sound of the sea and warm breezes to lull you into a stupor.
The only thing that’s missing is a pool — though the sea is on your doorstep and there’s talk of one being added soon.
Days start with a gentle yoga session and pass quickly in a timetable of juices, pills, the dreaded enemas, spa treatments, the odd therapy session and walks on the beach. We have an Ayurvedic body type assessment, in-depth nutrition advice and life coaching. Each evening there’s a talk on some aspect of wellbeing and how we can incorporate what we’re learning into our busy lives back home. We finish with a meditation session before collapsing into bed.
As well as being physically challenging, the programme is somehow mentally cathartic too and there are tears all round. Detoxing is about letting go of toxic thoughts and energy, as well as bodily toxins, we’re told.
As the week progresses I notice a change. The struggle of the first days’ tiredness and hunger have gone, I feel lighter in body and mood and my skin starts looking clearer. Final tests show I’ve lost a few pounds, my visceral fat’s dropped, and my body is now in an alkaline state — a much healthier place to be than highly acidic, as I was. It feels like an achievement to have made it through the week — and I’ve definitely learnt a lot along the way. How much you implement any changes into your daily life is obviously your call, but the team at the Beach House are on hand for three months after you return home to answer any questions and check on your progress.
Some in my group declared it a life-changing experience. I wouldn’t go that far, but if you’re looking to kick-start a healthier lifestyle and mental attitude, and learn about all aspects of wellbeing in a supportive, professional environment, book now.
The Beach House, Sernabatim Beach, Goa 403709 (+91 832 6697733; thebeachhousegoa.com) offers a range of holidays including dedicated weight loss programmes, yoga holidays and relaxation packages.
